Howard Stern's Gushing Over Ellen DeGeneres Dance Bit Shocks Comic
Oct. 30 2015, Updated 12:20 p.m. ET
Howard Stern's former sidekick Artie Lange again touched on the King of All Media's transition from radio's raunchiest rebel to family-friendly funnyman, bewildered in particular about the radio icon's newfound admiration of Ellen DeGeneres — who Stern once called a "c**t" — and her daily dancing bit.
"I gotta say this to you Howard Stern fans ... again, we have a Howard now that says he looks forward to Ellen dancing and he kisses Ellen's a**," Lange said on his podcast Thursday before launching into a "disclaimer" that he wasn't intending on bashing Stern personally, but responding to his fan base about an unavoidable topic.
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"I've said this before — if you're listening to a show where you're hearing Howard Stern's voice, you're probably listening to the best radio available — that aside, I can't sit silent and … not address you Stern fans and express the fact that you're right in saying it is very odd ... that Howard says he likes Ellen's dancing. Because we used to viciously bash the fact that she became an enormous ratings hit during the f**king day because she danced, in a very creepy, disconcerting way.
"Who is pretending that that is at all entertaining? When she dances, it is so d**che-chilly unfunny, there is nothing funny or entertaining about Ellen dancing ... to the hippest song, she's dancing to Fetty Wap! I mean, what is she f**king doing? It's embarrassing … it's f**king gross, she's not a talented person. She's a sham!"
The Background
In the mid-1990s, years before Lange joined the top-rated radio show in 2001, Stern needled DeGeneres with crude speculation over her sexuality and personal life; he's since admittedly "evolved" from the shocking brand of racial, sexual and celeb-bashing comedy he built his empire on. Fast forward to May 2009, when Stern conducted a joint interview with Jimmy Kimmel and Ben Stiller, who was slated to appear on Ellen in the near future at the time of the appearance. Stern suggested to the Zoolander star he should refuse to dance with DeGeneres, painting it as a hackneyed bit. "Why won't you make a stand? I'm being serious now. You've made enough hit movies, you've got a name in this business, why don't you make a stand and say, 'No.' Stand there, literally stand there … and say, 'I'm not going to dance, Ellen' ... it's ridiculous," Stern said.
'That's Why I Told You Ellen's A C**t!'
The King of All Media turned up the heat on his Feb. 11, 2010 broadcast, amid speculation he would be offered a spot as a judge on American Idol, and subsequent reports stating DeGeneres had threatened to walk away from her then-spot on the show should that happen. "Ellen DeGeneres is such a jerk," Stern said, noting that he's never been one to interfere in other people's professional opportunities out of fear of bad karma. "She would deny me my dream job because she doesn't like me personally — and that's why I told you Ellen's a c**t!" He took things to a personal level, referencing the openly-gay comic's sexuality. "And that face of her's, she looks like she smelled bad p**sy! I think before she got famous, she had a lot of bad p**sy and that nose of her is forever crinkled," Stern said, later adding, "She wishes she had a d**k."
In the tirade, Stern said that the friendly image DeGeneres projects on-air is totally farcical. "Oh she's such a foul piece of garbage, people who work with her know ... she's a tyrant ogre, this whole nice girl image is a lot of horses**t fakery. She's miserable, and she is a miserable woman." The vitriolic outburst prompted co-host Robin Quivers to chime in, "When can we just go ahead and say she's not funny? When is the statue of limitations up that we can finally admit she's not funny?"
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The professional slight also opened the floodgates for Stern to attack DeGeneres over the 2007 incident in which a Southern California animal shelter called Mutts and Moms confiscated a puppy named "Iggy" she adopted and subsequently gave to a friend, leading to an emotional on-air speech in addressing the controversy. But Stern — whose wife Beth has carved out a niche in animal activism in recent years — wasn't having any of it. "She's so dishonest — she's dishonest in every aspect of her life, including adopting puppies ... this was all a lie," the Private Parts star said, ranting over audio of her speech. "Ellen DeGeneres is a nut, she's a bonafide nut ... good lord, put her on some lithium or thorazine or something, whatever cocktail you can come up with to calm her the f**k down. Stop adopting dogs and giving them away, who are you, Robin Hood?"'