EXCLUSIVE: Gloria Allred's Open Letter To Whoopi: Don't Blame Domestic Violence Victims
Aug. 9 2010, Published 9:20 a.m. ET
On August, 3, Breaking Celebrity News’s Executive Vice President appeared on the ABC show, The View, discussing the Mel Gibson-Oksana Grigorieva case. A clearly agitated Whoopi Goldberg expressed her belief that she didn’t believe Oksana’s claims of domestic violence because Oksana did not report it to the police. Powerhouse attorney Gloria Allred has been a defender of victim’s rights and spent decades fighting for justice for battered women. After watching the segment she wrote this open letter to Whoopi.
Last week on The View, when you were discussing Oksana Grigorieva’s allegations that Mel Gibson allegedly hit her and their baby, you asked David Perel of Breaking Celebrity News why Oksana did not go to the police first.
Whoopi: “Did she go to the police?”
David: “No she did not go to the police...”
Whoopi: “Why not?”
David: “Because most victims of domestic violence do not go to the police....they were still together..”
Whoopi: “I'm not buying that...for most victims..why not...If a man hits you, holding your child, and he hit the child according to what she's saying, so why not go to the police first?"
David: “Absolutely should, but unfortunately it's not the way it works.”
Whoopi: “I understand that but I don't believe that, I think it's BS..I think she was looking for dough.”
Whoopi, the answer is that there are many reasons that women who have been battered do not immediately go to the police.
Sometimes they are in fear that if they notify the police, it will only serve to increase their partner’s anger resulting in placing the victim and her children at even greater risk of harm from the batterer.
Sometimes the reason is that the victims mistakenly believe that they themselves provoked the violence and blame themselves for it rather than the batterer who inflicted the injuries upon them.
Yet another reason is that some women make the mistake of being protective of the batterer’s reputation. They fear that if they report it to the police and there is a prosecution and conviction it may adversely affect the batterer’s business and reputation in the community in a way that could cause significant economic, emotional, and reputational harm to the batterer. For this reason, the victim may be reluctant to “air their dirty laundry in public” since a police report is a public record. They believe that the batterer will never forgive them if they report and will blame the victim for what may be long lasting harm to him which may even include time in jail or prison for the battery, depending on the severity of the injuries inflicted.
Yet another reason is that the victim often rationalizes that the batterer will never repeat the violence, that she can urge him to get professional help and anger management counseling and that if she is successful the violence will stop and they can continue living happily ever after as a family which is what she hopes will happen, even though it al