By Breaking Celebrity News Staff

Political satirist Stephen Colbert was back on the air Monday night after canceling two shows last week in the wake of reports his 91-year-old mother Lorna was sick, and addressed some of the falsities floating around online, while paying homage to his ailing matriarch.

Colbert, 48, went through a laundry list of Internet rumors offered for his absence: he'd been taken off by the FCC because he was about to announce his presidential candidacy; he was 86'ed by the Catholic Church for comparing the Pope's hat to a condom; he was in rehab; and, according to Joan Rivers, he'd taken the time off to get plastic surgery.

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"Wrong Joan, I did not have my eyes done -- I had my a** done ... rumors quelled, moving on," he said. "Oh, and evidentl